Krustyland Quests
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The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 1

  • Place the Krustyland Shuttle
  • Tap the Shuttle and go to Krustyland

Start Quest Dialog

( click here )
Ugh. Can someone tell me why the same dogs run every race at our track?
And why, given that, a TV clown would blow his entire fortune betting on said races?
Krusty? You’re broke?
No, broke means you have zero. I am millions in debt. If I was only broke, I’d be the richest jerk on earth.
Why don’t you just re-open Krustyland and make your money back?
Krustyland is a mess. They never tell you how expensive the “maintenance” part of a theme park is.
Or how when you don’t pay “maintenance,” and one ride topples onto another ride and careens into a crowded midway, it can also be expensive.
Then again, rebuilding Krustyland would be a great way to kill time, and keep people from focusing on more important tasks like work and school.
Anything I can do to harm America’s productivity. Let’s do it!
Isn’t Krustyland way out of town? How will we get there?
Leave that to me! By which I mean, the Sky Finger. Get to it, chump!
( click to restart )


End Quest Dialog

( click here )
Tap on the Shuttle to Krustyland
( click to restart )


The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 2

  • Make Homer Cleanup Krustyland

Start Quest Dialog

( click here )
The old Krustyland is a dump. Where am I gonna find a schmuck fakakta enough to clean up this mess.
Ooh, Yiddish — that often leads to Latkes.
Hey hey! Welcome to Krustyland!
Step right up to our newest attraction: Grab That Girder Over There and Drag It, Then Every Other Girder, to Somewhere the Truck Can Get to Them More Easily!
Long name. Sounds fun!
( click to restart )


The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 3

  • Build the Krustyland Entrance

Start Quest Dialog

( click here )
I gotta say, Krusty, the girder-dragging ride at Disneyland is better.
And why reward me with these stupid tickets? A guy like me is used to getting paid in cold, hard pretend money.
Those are Krustyland Tickets! They’re like money but more… fun! Hoo Hoo Ha Ha!
Also, you’re going to need those tickets to rebuild the Krustyland Entrance. So hand ’em over!
( click to restart )


The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 4

  • Place Krustyland Paths

Start Quest Dialog

( click here )
The harder it is for people to find their way around a theme park, the less time they spend on its fragile, deadly rides.
I need a boneheaded, twisting, counterintuitive layout for this place. Where’s that guy from before?
Hi, Mr. The Klown — I’m that guy from before. I want to once again lodge a complaint about being paid in your personal scrip instead of money.
And I look forward to that conversation. Right after you try our latest attraction: Build A Path!
( click to restart )


The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 5

  • Place the Ring Toss Stall

Start Quest Dialog

( click here )
You know, this theme park is starting to feel a lot like work.
But, if I may finish that thought, it’s all worth it when you get your payout of Krustyland Tickets.
Is that how that thought finishes? Well, I guess I can’t tell my thoughts what to think. Okay, what’s next?
Now comes the important stuff.
The rides are just a way to bring customers — or, as we call them in the industry, “Fat Dummies Deserving of What They Get” — into the park.
I didn’t know we had a nickname! Pretty sweet.
But it’s the rigged, unwinnable midway games where you make the real dough.
( click to restart )


End Quest Dialog

( click here )
Cletus and Sideshow Mel will now appear in Krustyland when they’re not doing jobs in Springfield!
( click to restart )


August 7, 2013